Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
