theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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