Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Randomize
