So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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