You made me cry and you don't even care
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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