I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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