I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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