Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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