ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's never too late to be topless.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
