I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
