2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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