Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
