I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
