Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The beer is more important than you right now.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.