So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".