I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.