My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize