He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
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Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
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my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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