i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize