D3 body, D1 cock
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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