my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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