Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize