just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
