if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
