when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
