Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
