better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
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I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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