true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
