I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
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she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
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We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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