I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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