You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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