Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
