if i died would you start the facebook group?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
