My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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