So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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