I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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