Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
