I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
