slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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