We're facebook friends in real life
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
