I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
