you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
