went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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