i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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