if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
