bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
