So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
