The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
