A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
