i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
