Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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