on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
