Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Let's get the cat blown out
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
