I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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