Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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