Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
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If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
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Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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