I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
