She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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