can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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