She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Damn victory sex feels great
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
