she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
