Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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