Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
