you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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