Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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