Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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