Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
