I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
